Nonbinary: Memoirs of Gender and Identity opens Goodreads in a new tab

My thoughts

4/5 stars It’s not that I don’t want to wear my femme clothes to work; it’s that I know as soon as I do, my entire nonbinary identity will be disregarded. I won’t be seen as “trans enough”—my clothes will give people permission to treat me like a woman or feel entitled to use the wrong pronouns. Even people who claim to be accepting of nonbinary gender still expect that our expression must deviate from the norms associated with our sex assigned at birth. As someone who identifies as non-binary but also never really feels non-binary enough because of the idea we have created about what a non-binary person looks like, this book did give me a bit of relief. The irony of this idea of a set androgynous identity we try to make while trying to escape the binary identity isn't lost on me. It never fails to make me feel not enough. So yes, this book was a refreshing read. But this one story from the parent of an enby teenager was just too weird in this collection, according to me. It might just be me, idk. But those conversations were too private and given that we weren't told how the parents got to know them, i will assume what most desi parents do, they might have snooped up on their teenager. And that is shitty and scary and I hate that that was my first thought. But it is very possible. So ya. Otherwise, this was overall a good collection. Workplaces tend to be reactive when it comes to accommodating trans and nonbinary folks. They wait until a trans or nonbinary person gets hired, then they scramble to figure out how to make the environment safe and accessible. In my ideal world, workplaces would do the work before a trans person gets hired or even before they are interviewed. They would figure out their HR policies, restroom facilities, and documentation (e.g., name badges, email addresses, electronic records, computer user accounts) ahead of time. There is always the chance of having employees who do not disclose their trans status or identity, so waiting for the first “out” or vocal trans person to report problems is not really an equitable approach.