The Death of Vivek Oji opens Goodreads in a new tab

My thoughts

4/5stars Yes I am giving 4 stars to this book, yes I am STILL very confused as to how I feel about this: it is what it is. Okay but hear me out: On one hand the author has done a brilliant job with the composition and writing style and the topics covered are really important and it's a coming of age story set in Nigeria. But on the other other hand, there still are certain things I am not sure if I liked them in here. But the writing, the prose? ah *chef's kiss*- I'm not what anyone thinks I am. I never was. I didn't have the mouth to put it into words, to say what was wrong, to change the things I felt I needed to change. And every day it was difficult, walking around and knowing that people saw me one way, knowing that they were wrong, so completely wrong, that the real me was invisible to them. It didn't even exist to them. So: If nobody sees you, are you still there? As the title suggests this book is about the death of our main character: Vivek and the circumstances surrounding it. And his mom trying to find out the reason behind his death. Obviously there is more than what meets the eye, the mother doesn't even know the half of what was happening in Vivek's life. The one thing I really loved here was how Vivek's friends were so supportive of him throughout this whole journey, how they even stood up for him even after he passed away. That being said, I hated the character of Vivek's aunt(Mary? wtv her name was) Literally couldn't tolerate her for one second. If nobody sees you, are you still there? Emezi has done a beautiful job with the LGBTQIA+ rep in the book. And not only rep, the descriptions are so well-written so accurate. For anyone who has ever experienced gender dysphoria you will see what I am talking about. There are so many diff characters in the book, there are gender fluid people, there are lesbians there are bisexuals- it's the whole thing and I think the major reason why it felt so natural and perfect was because they are themselves enby. They address the topic of identity and belonging in the most beautiful and heart-warming way. The characters were multi-dimensional and well written, to the point you felt for them and their struggle. It's like you almost wanted to reach out and comfort them, be there for them. He didn't belong to you...You keep talking as if he belonged to you, just because you were his mother, but he didn't. He didn't belong to anybody but himself. That being said, was incest really necessary for the progression of the story? I don't know. I didn't feel comfortable reading about Vivek and his cousin Osita having sexual relationships. I mean I get the part about trying to depict something that is unusual, unaccepted or even forbidden but incest? I think the story could have done without it. But that's the just me. Rest I think the book was perfect. Highly recommend. Love and guilt sometimes taste the same, you know. CWs for the book- loss of a child, physical abuse, domestic abuse, abuse of LGBTQIA+ people, homophobia, animal death, mentions of miscarriage + rape, death, incest